Long hours at work, family commitments, social commitments, juggling kids, parent meetings, professional networking, social media updates, being extra nice at work to get that promotion…. pheww!
Does this sound similar? Any resemblance to your life?
Well turns out you are not alone! In this rapidly changing world around us, we unconsciously find ourselves doing things for others, often battling the thoughts of " being judged".
As a therapist, I am used to listening " Oh I don’t have time for." or " People are going to think I am selfish if I don’t…" or " I need to do this for my kids, it’s my duty!" and many more similar statements. All these self-imposed expectations lead one on the path of stress and a lot of hidden anxiety.
I frequently propagate the path of Self care for such situations. The initial hesitance is always there, with questions “Isn’t that being selfish?”.
To that my answer is a firm “No”!
Self-care is your responsibility towards yourself, to give attention to your own emotional needs. Self-care does not come easy, requires a mind shift perspective towards own self. For example: - Cooking a meal which you want to eat, making an appointment to your favourite salon even if it just a hair wash, spending sometime touching base with friends which you have been post-poning for a while, saying “no” to social events which are energy draining, or even reducing contact with negative people.
Selfcare not only helps in reducing stress and living in the moment but does wonders for your sense of self worth and esteem. Hence, building your emotional and psychological immunity.
How do you differentiate between selfcare and being selfish?
The main critical difference is that Selfcare does not negatively impact anyone else in your environment, you are not taking away something from any other individual. In selfcare you are helping yourself by yourself without burdening anyone. Unlike being selfish when the mind is in constant fight mode of “want”, self-care recharges to nourish the mind and be ready to nurture others.
Selfcare can only lead to feeling of joy and sense of fulfilment whereas selfish makes one feel guilty
Selfcare is inclusive, it is about focusing on people who truly matter and care for you. Selfish excludes others, it is the “me first” mindset.
There can be many activities and habits which can easily be part of your self-care routine.
What do you think about self-care? I would be happy to know your thoughts too or if you need help in identifying your own self care needs do connect.